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August, 2008

Manifesting seems to be the uber popular catchword of our time. We’ve all seen “The Secret,” we’ve read “Eat, Pray, Love.” We know “it” exists; we hear the stories cycling through talk shows. But what does it mean? More importantly, what are the practical steps making it happen? We think we may have stumbled on the answer—an important tool allowing manifesting to work for everyday people. We call it the Manifesting Circle.

I “built” our Manifesting Circle when I hit rock-bottom trying to figure out how to have a life-saving operation. Simply put, my challenges are larger than I can conquer alone. So I asked my friends for help.
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Our Manifesting Circle uses two approaches: 1) We employ meditation, prayer and rituals to create intention and reach out to the universe for answers, of which we then pursue. 2) We search for financial assistance.

In eight months we have: Attracted the interest of a noted documentary team now filming our process; Raised $25,000 allowing me to purchase an insurance policy for two years; Scheduled a consultation with a renowned surgeon who pioneered treatment for and specializes in bariatric surgery; Been contacted by a lifestyle magazine interested in telling my story; Had a piece of art accepted into a juried art show, and singled out by the local newspaper’s art reviewer as best in show, drawing attention to my struggle.; Witnessed a vast improvement in my overall health, which was also recognized by my primary care physician.

I still have vital health issues needing resolution. There is still money to be raised. I hold in wonder the power of our group and what has manifested in this short time. We know if we can do it, anyone can. In this blog, we are very excited to share the steps how.

November, 2007

Welcome and thank you for coming to my blog. If you’ve gotten an invitation to join my manifesting circle, you are very dear to me. I picked each one of you very specifically and from the bottom of my heart. Each one of you is gifted and powerful in your own right. It’s for these reasons that I have chosen you. Regardless of why or how you got here, however, I am humbled and so grateful that you are.

This place is intended to share information about my journey as well as keep you, my circle of supporters, connected. To the right you will see links to other informational resources I’ve provided to help with questions you may have. I will update this content as my healing progresses and I invite you to check back in from time to time to see what’s going on with me.

I have battled with my body for a long time. Feeling increasingly more imprisoned, and after 10 years of thinking through pros and cons, I am now seriously considering weight loss surgery. Though I’ve spent a lifetime in angst that I cannot resolve this obstacle myself, I’ve come to accept it is a bigger problem than I can fix alone. I am saddened. I am scared. I am desperate. I am 100% wholly dedicated to persevering and winning.

For most of my life, I have tried to care for my body and manage my weight. This life-long battle has at many times overwhelmed me, yet also humbled me a great deal. At this point, it is far from it being an issue of vanity, rather solely an issue of health and independence.

I have studied nutrition for many years. I have tried countless diets and medications. I have paid for years of therapy. Still I am left with my body and a metabolism that makes no sense to me. I have literally analyzed this problem nutritionally, therapeutically, biophysically, genetically, energetically and even karmacally. I have worked on it both alone and with medical and healing professionals. At this point I am convinced that obesity is a disease for which we have no true cure. Yet, culturally, it is a disease we blame on its soldiers . . . those of us that march in battle with it everyday.

I liken my situation much to that of someone who has cancer. It is not something that I want but it is something that I have. Someone asked me recently if I really want to have weight loss surgery. My answer is an emphatic and resounding, “No.” A similar response I imagine if I had cancer and someone asked if I really wanted radiation and chemotherapy. Do I want it? No. Will I try it if I think it might save my life. Yes.

I need your help. My challenge is two-fold. On a practical level, I need to raise enough money to cover insurance costs et al (deductibles, program fees, care and expenses during recovery, and necessary plastic surgery after weight loss). On a psychic-spiritual level, I need to know this is the right decision and I need to get through it safe and sound. With humility and some difficulty, I am asking you to focus your unique power and magic on me. Through a series of manifesting circles, it is my hope that together we can conjure enough magic to allow me to reach my goals. I need your help manifesting all of this. And the bottom line—I need to live a complete life, one that includes fulfilling my path, living without restraint and living joyfully.

After too many years of apnea and not enough sleep, a trip to the hospital this year for irregular heartbeat, an increasingly fragile state of health and significantly decreasing mobility, I know I’m looking a life or death situation in the face. Reaching out and asking for your help is hard. It’s hard to ask for help. I confront the vulnerability, the need, and keeping my self-esteem intact in the process. I’m asking you to hold my hand through this and help me cross these virulent waters.