Members of The Manifesting Circle meet monthly at different homes to support Stacy in her health challenges. In the front is Janet. From left, Jo Anne, Carolyn, Ms. Christopher, Elizabeth (standing), Michaela and Nancy at Stacy’s home. STEVE MALONE/NEWS-PRESS PHOTOS

Sitting in the living room of Stacy Christopher’s Mesa home on a recent morning, surrounded by half a dozen of her friends and family members, the love and affection is palpable. It’s in the way each woman speaks admiringly of Ms. Christopher, a certain glow they have while around her. The way her dog Happy, a Boston terrier and French bulldog mix, snoozes soundly — and loudly — in this company. And the way the tea cups are on the table, waiting to be filled.

The group, which has 19 members altogether, is gathered this day, as it has monthly since last November, for the purpose of supporting Ms. Christopher through her health challenges. The 42-year-old wife and mother has struggled with weight issues since she was a young girl. Now at 412 pounds, she’s come to a crossroads and made the difficult decision to have weight-loss surgery.

“A year ago, I was in a completely different place,” says Ms. Christopher, who co-owns a local computer repair business with her husband and is a graphic designer, artist and writer. “I hit rock bottom. I knew I had this problem and I felt just because I had the sheer will I could solve it.”

Over the years, she’d tried nearly every remedy possible to lose weight and live healthily on her own, including several medically supervised diets in which she dropped up to 100 pounds, a dairy- and gluten-free diet, exercise, acupuncture, psychotherapy and even hypnosis.

“One of the common misconceptions of people who are overweight or considered overweight is that they don’t have the willpower to go on a diet,” said Ms. Christopher. But she found shedding pounds was easy — “all it takes is focus and determination” — it was keeping them off that was difficult. Even if she stuck strictly to the same diet, she’d reach a plateau and start gaining the weight back again, sometimes more than before dieting. It’s a condition she attributes in part to genetics and a metabolism that doesn’t function properly.

Since 2004, her health started to take a turn for the worse. She began having chest pains from everyday activities, like vigorously climbing up the stairs or chasing her 9-year-old son around in the pool. She’s had pneumonia, hypertension, edema, anemia, sleep apnea and migraine headaches; and shoulder, back and knee problems. At one point, she was hospitalized for an irregular heartbeat. And she recently was diagnosed as prediabetic, due to her body’s resistance to insulin.

Finally she’s decided to do something her primary care physician, an obesity specialist, has increasingly urged her to do over nearly 10 years of medical treatment: have a gastric bypass.

“For me, it is a last resort, and I’ve turned over every other stone,” said Ms. Christopher. “I am somebody that prefers the least interventive type of process possible for any ailment. I really believe in alternative medicine in addition to Western medicine, and so for me it hasn’t been an easy choice.”

But given her weight and the extent of her health problems, she needs to lose more than 250 pounds to restore her health, which other approaches won’t allow her to do, her physician, Dr. Erno Daniel of Sansum Clinic, said in a written statement.

A crucial part of what she calls her “journey to health” was deciding to seek out the help of her friends. Over time she realized that “this problem was bigger than myself,” she said.

Her friend Elizabeth Loomis, a Santa Barbara healer and clairvoyant, suggested she envision what she needed most for support. What would it look like? How would it feel? Who would be part of her support circle?

She was inspired partly by a local women’s circle her mom had belonged to in the ’80s. While that group discussed art, politics and social issues, Ms. Christopher decided to form a group to focus specifically on supporting her, physically, spiritually and mentally, through her health challenges and her surgery.

Kind-hearted, gentle and humorous, she has many friends and makes new ones easily. But reaching out has required opening up and sharing her vulnerability in new ways. All of us face crises at some point in our lives, “but we live in a culture that doesn’t really support us in asking for help,” she said.

She’s also needed to ask for financial help to have the procedure, as well as reconstructive surgery to remove the large flaps of skin that will be left after weight-loss. The estimated total, including the cost of private health insurance (she’s been unable to afford it or qualify for it previously), and lost wages during recovery, is nearly $130,000.

“When we first started the group and Stacy asked people to be in this circle, it was hard for her to be so vulnerable,” said Jo Anne Larkin, a friend and retired therapist, who lives in Santa Barbara. “But the step where you accept the help is a really big help. . .To make that step where you go, ‘I accept and deserve this help and the love of my friends.’ “

Ms. Christopher carefully selected each member of the group, which they call The Manifesting Circle. Ranging in age from their 30s to their 60s, they include women from all walks of life: students, healers, therapists and creative types, as well as nonprofit board members, business owners and entrepreneurs with strong management and finance skills.

In addition, “everyone that I invited into this circle has all had some really huge challenge they’ve had to deal with and has dealt with it with amazing strength and grace,” said Ms. Christopher. From those who’ve had cancer and chronic illness to those with family tragedies and deaths in their past, many are survivors whose life experiences have uniquely equipped them to help others. “It brings a lot of compassion,” Ms. Loomis said.

Using meditation, guided imagery and creative activities from different spiritual traditions during the meetings helps the women focus their intentions and listen for answers, both for themselves and for ways they can help their friend. But doing that and having dinner together are also ways to recharge their batteries before launching into the more practical segment, where they review progress made and each commits to a concrete action, such as researching sources of funding.

“When we do that creative time and dinner time together, it puts us all in this really comfortable and receptive and connected way and then we have more energy to go forward with the more tedious aspects,” said Ms. Christopher with a chuckle.

“Often these groups can get conflicted and contentious,” said Beth McDonald, a Santa Barbara-based psychic, astrologer, writer and consultant. “But I’ve found it so far very easy, very comfortable, very fluid, very magical. I’ve never been in a group that’s been this comfortable.”

So far the circle has made great strides in helping Ms. Christopher. They raised $25,000 in private donations for two years of health insurance and are now turning to the public for help with costs associated with the surgery. And while preparing for her operation, Ms. Christopher’s health has improved. Members have given her ongoing support outside the gatherings, from little things like accompanying her on walks, to giving her acupuncture treatments and helping manage the fund for her medical expenses.

Though the circle members all lead busy lives, “these women are still willing to show up for me,” Ms. Christopher said. “It’s so incredibly touching, I can’t even begin to convey how much that means to me.”

While her husband, son and mother have been there for her all along, “I think my family is really relieved to have the extra help and guidance,” she added.

Ms. Christopher plans to meet in October for a consultation with a specialist at USC in Los Angeles. The surgery might take place there as soon as November, while the reconstructive phases will begin up to a year and a half later, since it will take that much time to lose weight as her body adjusts to its smaller stomach.

In the meantime, Los Angeles filmmaker Lorenda Starfelt has begun filming a documentary about the group, and Ms. Christopher has been keeping a blog about her experiences at www.stacylouise.wordpress.com. She calls her blog “Manifesting Freedom” because it’s about “all the things I’m doing to manifest my health and my freedom from my health issues,” she said.

She’s also started writing a book about how to form a support circle, to help others going through trying times. She “really wants to give back to the whole world when she finishes her process,” said Ms. Loomis. “There’s not an ounce of selfishness. She wants to continue living to really give back to the world.”

Though the circle is focused on Ms. Christopher, members say they’ve received just as much from being part of it. “When you participate in this kind of experience, there’s growth on both sides,” said Ms. Larkin. “Being part of something that’s a circle is very much of a community feeling. You set an intention. I think just being part of that creates this feeling of belonging and anything is possible.”

A group manifesting something sees immediate results, said Nancy Fields, Ms. Christopher’s aunt and circle member. “We can say, ‘This needs to happen,’ and it happens.

“Whatever you put out, you get back. I know it’s changed my life and others. . . Now I have more energy. I’m more open.”

More than one member said that it can be overwhelming to hear about all the troubles in the world, but helping one person feels manageable. “To me, it’s a relief to participate in something where I can say I can make a difference,” said Ms. Larkin.

As for the future, Ms. Christopher knows the surgery may not solve all her health problems. “It’s not a quick-fix solution. It’s trading one set of complications for another whole set of complications,” she said. Risks include infection and even death. And then there’s the possibility that she’ll gain weight back again, which has happened to some people who’ve had the procedure.

But “will I try it if it’s going to save my life? Yeah, for sure,” she said. And her circle of friends will be there for her, no matter the outcome. “I’m not willing to go off into a corner and just die,” said Ms. Christopher. “I’m going to fight the best way I know to fight and I’m going to do it with my girls.”

e-mail: khughes@newspress.com

Stacy Christopher writes a blog called “Manifesting Freedom” about her weight-related health issues and her support circle from her home on the Mesa.

SUPPORT CIRCLES

Stacy Christopher, who has a journalism background, is writing a book on how to form a support circle. She recommends defining roles for each person in the group, spread among several areas of support.

They include: spirituality and healing, fundraising, physical fitness, post-procedure nurturing (such as cooking meals for the family and house cleaning) and technical support (i.e., handling video-conferencing, e-mail and other communications).

She suggests pinpointing your needs and not being shy about reaching out. “It’s something we’re discouraged from doing, but it’s something that absolutely feeds and nourishes us in community,” she said.

In her case, “people just started offering help. Then I realized that’s really where the true beauty is – in accepting it.”

To learn more about Ms. Christopher and her circle’s ongoing experiences, go to her blog at www.stacylouise.wordpress.com.

A screen shot from Ms. Christopher’s blog.

You can help

The Manifesting Circle is raising money to cover the cost of Stacy Christopher’s gastric bypass, reconstructive surgery and related health expenses, including lost wages during her recovery period.

The weight-loss procedure will most likely be a duodenal switch, which will reduce the size of her stomach as well as the receptors lining the stomach that signal hunger and satiation.

The circle is also seeking a nonprofit umbrella group for Ms. Christopher’s fund. That will enable them to receive donations from foundations that are limited to giving to nonprofits.

“Stacy’s a person who’s not let her weight stop her from being who she is,” said part-time Santa Barbara resident Lucy Brown, who administers Ms. Christopher’s fund. “She’s so unflappable in terms of not letting life get her down. She’s just a remarkable woman in so many ways.”

For more information or to donate to Stacy Christopher’s Fund at Washington Mutual Bank, call Ms. Brown at 252-1222 or e-mail lucyb@west.net.